HSK 3–4 | 爱一个人会改变你吗？| Will Loving Someone Change You?
在这期节目中，阿青和小花围绕“爱一个人会改变你吗？”展开讨论。他们从家人和朋友带来的小改变谈起，继续探讨喜欢一个人以后，人可能会怎样调整外表、生活习惯、学习方式和沟通方式。节目也特别强调：好的改变应该让人更健康、更平静、更有信心，也更懂得关心别人；但任何关系都不应该让一个人失去朋友、爱好、目标和真实的自己。
目录 / Section Guide
✅ 要点 / Key Takeaways
使用方法 / How to Use This File
Source note: This viewer edition follows the attached recording script. Vietnamese translations have been removed. Any missing English line is marked rather than silently supplied.
文本 / Full Transcript
Each dialogue turn includes Chinese, pinyin, and English. Speaker names are preserved from the original script.
A. Opening — Can Loving Someone Change You?
阿青 A Qing
大家好，欢迎来到《宝宝中文》BaoBao Mandarin。我是阿青。
PINYIN Dàjiā hǎo, huānyíng lái dào "Bǎobǎo Zhōngwén" BaoBao Mandarin. Wǒ shì Ā Qīng.
EN Hello everyone, welcome to BaoBao Mandarin. I'm A Qing.
小花 Xiao Hua
大家好，我是小花。今天很开心来到这里，和大家一起聊天。
PINYIN Dàjiā hǎo, wǒ shì Xiǎohuā. Jīntiān hěn kāixīn lái dào zhèlǐ, hé dàjiā yìqǐ liáotiān.
EN Hello everyone, I'm Xiao Hua. I'm very happy to be here and chat with everyone today.
阿青 A Qing
对，今天也是我第一次来到这个节目。说实话，我有一点紧张。
PINYIN Duì, jīntiān yě shì wǒ dì yī cì lái dào zhège jiémù. Shuō shíhuà, wǒ yǒu yìdiǎn jǐnzhāng.
EN Yes. It's also my first time on this show. To be honest, I'm a little nervous.
小花 Xiao Hua
哈哈，我也是。不过没关系，就当我们在和朋友聊天吧。
PINYIN Hāhā, wǒ yě shì. Búguò méi guānxi, jiù dāng wǒmen zài hé péngyou liáotiān ba.
EN Haha, me too. But it's okay. Let's just imagine we're chatting with friends.
阿青 A Qing
对，希望大家也可以放轻松，一起练习中文。
PINYIN Duì, xīwàng dàjiā yě kěyǐ fàng qīngsōng, yìqǐ liànxí Zhōngwén.
EN Right. We hope everyone can relax and practice Chinese together with us.
小花 Xiao Hua
那阿青，我们先随便聊一聊吧。你今天来的时候，天气怎么样？
PINYIN Nà Ā Qīng, wǒmen xiān suíbiàn liáo yì liáo ba. Nǐ jīntiān lái de shíhou, tiānqì zěnmeyàng?
EN A Qing, let's chat a little first.
阿青 A Qing
我觉得挺舒服的。不太热，还有一点风。
PINYIN Wǒ juéde tǐng shūfu de. Bú tài rè, hái yǒu yìdiǎn fēng.
EN I think it was quite pleasant. It wasn't too hot, and there was a little breeze.
小花 Xiao Hua
我来的时候太阳比较大，不过走一走也挺舒服的。
PINYIN Wǒ lái de shíhou tàiyáng bǐjiào dà, búguò zǒu yì zǒu yě tǐng shūfu de.
EN The sun was quite strong when I came, but walking outside still felt nice.
阿青 A Qing
对啊。有时候天气好，心情也会变好。
PINYIN Duì a. Yǒushíhou tiānqì hǎo, xīnqíng yě huì biàn hǎo.
EN Yeah. Sometimes good weather can make us feel happier.
小花 Xiao Hua
对，我也有这种感觉。好像生活里很多小事情，都可以慢慢改变一个人。
PINYIN Duì, wǒ yě yǒu zhè zhǒng gǎnjué. Hǎoxiàng shēnghuó lǐ hěn duō xiǎo shìqing, dōu kěyǐ mànmàn gǎibiàn yí ge rén.
EN I feel the same. It seems many little things in life can slowly change a person.
阿青 A Qing
哈哈，说到改变，我最近看到一句话，很有意思。
PINYIN Hāhā, shuō dào gǎibiàn, wǒ zuìjìn kàn dào yí jù huà, hěn yǒuyìsi.
EN Haha. Speaking of change, I recently read a very interesting sentence.
小花 Xiao Hua
什么话？
PINYIN Shénme huà?
EN What was it?
阿青 A Qing
"爱一个人会改变你。"
PINYIN "Ài yí ge rén huì gǎibiàn nǐ."
EN "Loving someone will change you."
小花 Xiao Hua
PINYIN Ó, wǒ yě tīngguò zhè jù huà. Bùguò, wǒ yīzhí hěn hàoqí. Tā zhēn de shì zhēn de ma?
EN Oh,I've heard that before. But I've always wondered... Is it really true?
阿青 A Qing
我也不知道。不过，我觉得一个人会不会改变，不一定只有爱情。
PINYIN Wǒ yě bù zhīdào. Bùguò, wǒ juédé yīgè rén huì bù huì gǎibiàn, bù yīdìng zhǐyǒu àiqíng.
EN I'm not sure either. But I think love may not be the only thing that changes a person.
小花 Xiao Hua
对啊。家人、朋友，还有生活里的很多事情，都可能影响我们。
PINYIN Duì a. Jiārén, péngyǒu, hái yǒu shēnghuó lǐ de hěnduō shìqíng, dōu kěnéng yǐngxiǎng wǒmen.
EN Right. Family, friends, and many things in life can all influence us. .
阿青 A Qing
所以今天，就让我们一起慢 慢聊聊这个问题吧。看看到了节目的最后，我们会不会找到自己的答案 。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ jīntiān, jiù ràng wǒmen yìqǐ mànmàn liáo liáo zhège wèntí ba. Kànkan dào le jiémù de zuìhòu, wǒmen huì bú huì zhǎodào zìjǐ de dá'àn.
EN So today, let's explore this question together. By the end of the episode, let's see if we can find our own answer.
小花 Xiao Hua
如果你喜欢宝宝中文，别忘了点赞、订阅我们的频道，也打开小铃铛。谢谢大家，我们开始今天的话题吧！
PINYIN Rúguǒ nǐ xǐhuān Bǎobǎo Zhōngwén, bié wàng le diǎnzàn, dìngyuè wǒmen de píndào, yě dǎkāi xiǎo língdang. Xièxie dàjiā, wǒmen kāishǐ jīntiān de huàtí ba!
EN If you enjoy BaoBao Mandarin, don't forget to like, subscribe to our channel, and turn on notifications. Thanks everyone—let's get started!
B. Small Changes Influenced by Family and Friends
阿青 A Qing
有啊。其实我觉得很多人都有，只是有时候自己没有发现。
PINYIN Yǒu a. Qíshí wǒ juéde hěn duō rén dōu yǒu, zhǐ shì yǒu shíhou zìjǐ méiyǒu fāxiàn.
EN Yes. Actually, I think many people have, but sometimes they don’t notice it themselves.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这个我同意。因为有些改变很小，不是突然变成另一个人。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhège wǒ tóngyì. Yīnwèi yǒuxiē gǎibiàn hěn xiǎo, bú shì tūrán biàn chéng lìng yí ge rén.
EN I agree. Because some changes are very small. It’s not like you suddenly become another person.
阿青 A Qing
对。比如我以前早上很难起床。
PINYIN Duì. Bǐrú wǒ yǐqián zǎoshang hěn nán qǐchuáng.
EN Right. For example, I used to have a hard time getting up in the morning.
小花 Xiao Hua
很多人都是这样吧。早上起床真的不容易。
PINYIN Hěn duō rén dōu shì zhèyàng ba. Zǎoshang qǐchuáng zhēn de bù róngyì.
EN Many people are like that, right? Getting up in the morning is really not easy.
阿青 A Qing
对。以前我妈妈每天叫我起床，我还会说：“再睡五分钟。”
PINYIN Duì. Yǐqián wǒ māma měi tiān jiào wǒ qǐchuáng, wǒ hái huì shuō: “Zài shuì wǔ fēnzhōng.”
EN Right. Before, my mom called me to get up every day, and I would say, “Let me sleep for five more minutes.”
小花 Xiao Hua
哈哈，结果五分钟以后，还是想再睡五分钟。
PINYIN Hāha, jiéguǒ wǔ fēnzhōng yǐhòu, háishi xiǎng zài shuì wǔ fēnzhōng.
EN Haha, and after five minutes, you still wanted to sleep for another five minutes.
阿青 A Qing
嗯，完全是这样。后来我发现妈妈每天都要很早起床去工作，很辛苦，还要花时间叫我起床，而我却只想着多睡一会儿。
PINYIN Ǹg, wánquán shì zhèyàng. Hòulái wǒ fāxiàn māma měi tiān dōu yào hěn zǎo qǐchuáng qù gōngzuò, hěn xīnkǔ, hái yào huā shíjiān jiào wǒ qǐchuáng, ér wǒ què zhǐ xiǎng zhe duō shuì yíhuìr.
EN Exactly. Later, I realized that my mom had to wake up very early every day to work hard, and still spent time waking me up, while I only wanted to sleep longer.
小花 Xiao Hua
你发现这一点以后，心里是什么感觉 ?
PINYIN Nǐ fāxiàn zhè yìdiǎn yǐhòu, xīnlǐ shì shénme gǎnjué?
EN After you realized this, how did you feel?
阿青 A Qing
一开始我觉得很不好意思，也很内疚。 不是觉得妈妈麻烦，而是突然发现，她每天已经很辛苦了，还要为我早起的事操心。所以我就想，我应该自己负责一点。
PINYIN Yī kāishǐ wǒ juéde hěn bù hǎoyìsi, yě hěn nèijiù. Bú shì juéde māma máfan, ér shì tūrán fāxiàn, tā měi tiān yǐjīng hěn xīnkǔ le, hái yào wèi wǒ zǎoqǐ de shì cāoxīn. Suǒyǐ wǒ jiù xiǎng, wǒ yīnggāi zìjǐ fùzé yìdiǎn.
EN At first, I felt really embarrassed and also felt sorry for her. It wasn’t that I thought my mom was troublesome. I suddenly realized that she was already working hard every day, but still had to worry about me getting up early. So I thought I should be a little more responsible for myself.
小花 Xiao Hua
然后你就开始改变了？
PINYIN Ránhòu nǐ jiù kāishǐ gǎibiàn le?
EN And then you started to change?
阿青 A Qing
嗯。我开始自己定闹钟。刚开始还是很难，但是慢慢就好一点。
PINYIN Ǹg. Wǒ kāishǐ zìjǐ dìng nàozhōng. Gāng kāishǐ háishi hěn nán, dànshì mànmàn jiù hǎo yìdiǎn.
EN Yes. I started setting my own alarm. At first it was still hard, but slowly it got better.
小花 Xiao Hua
所以你是为了妈妈，开始早起一点。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ nǐ shì wèile māma, kāishǐ zǎoqǐ yìdiǎn.
EN So you started getting up earlier for your mom.
阿青 A Qing
对。不是很大的改变，但是我觉得很有意义。
PINYIN Duì. Bú shì hěn dà de gǎibiàn, dànshì wǒ juéde hěn yǒu yìyì.
EN Right. It wasn’t a big change, but I think it was meaningful.
小花 Xiao Hua
我也有一个跟家人有关的例子。
PINYIN Wǒ yě yǒu yí ge gēn jiārén yǒuguān de lìzi.
EN I also have an example related to family.
阿青 A Qing
是什么？
PINYIN Shì shénme?
EN What is it?
小花 Xiao Hua
我以前总是很晚睡，第二天整个人都很累，精神也不太好。
PINYIN Wǒ yǐqián zǒng shì hěn wǎn shuì, dì èr tiān zhěng ge rén dōu hěn lèi, jīngshén yě bú tài hǎo.
EN I used to sleep very late, so the next day I felt tired all over and didn’t have much energy.
阿青 A Qing
这个很多人都有吧。晚上不想睡，早上起不来。
PINYIN Zhège hěn duō rén dōu yǒu ba. Wǎnshang bù xiǎng shuì, zǎoshang qǐ bù lái.
EN Many people have this problem, right? Don’t want to sleep at night, can’t get up in the morning.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。有一次我妈妈看到我很累，脸色也不太好。她没有骂我，只是很难过地跟我聊了一会儿。她说：“我不是想管你，我只是担心你的身体。你这样太累了。”
PINYIN Duì. Yǒu yí cì wǒ māma kàn dào wǒ hěn lèi, liǎnsè yě bú tài hǎo. Tā méiyǒu mà wǒ, zhǐ shì hěn nánguò de gēn wǒ liáo le yíhuìr. Tā shuō: “Wǒ bú shì xiǎng guǎn nǐ, wǒ zhǐ shì dānxīn nǐ de shēntǐ. Nǐ zhèyàng tài lèi le.”
EN Right. One time my mom saw that I looked very tired and didn’t look well. She didn’t scold me. She just talked with me sadly for a while. She said, “I’m not trying to control you. I’m just worried about your health. You are too tired like this.”
阿青 A Qing
听起来，你妈妈真的很担心你。
PINYIN Tīng qǐlái, nǐ māma zhēn de hěn dānxīn nǐ.
EN It sounds like your mom was really worried about you.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。那时候我才觉得，这不是小问题。我也不想让妈妈一直为我担心，所以就想慢慢改一改。
PINYIN Duì. Nà shíhou wǒ cái juéde, zhè bú shì xiǎo wèntí. Wǒ yě bù xiǎng ràng māma yìzhí wèi wǒ dānxīn, suǒyǐ jiù xiǎng mànmàn gǎi yi gǎi.
EN Right. At that time, I realized this was not a small problem. I also didn’t want my mom to keep worrying about me, so I wanted to slowly change it.
阿青 A Qing
那你后来怎么做？
PINYIN Nà nǐ hòulái zěnme zuò?
EN So what did you do later?
小花 Xiao Hua
我开始规定自己每天早点睡。刚开始还是会想玩手机，但是我会提醒自己：早点睡，明天才会舒服一点。
PINYIN Wǒ kāishǐ guīdìng zìjǐ měi tiān zǎodiǎn shuì. Gāng kāishǐ háishi huì xiǎng wán shǒujī, dànshì wǒ huì tíxǐng zìjǐ: zǎodiǎn shuì, míngtiān cái huì shūfu yìdiǎn.
EN I started making myself go to bed earlier every day. At first, I still wanted to use my phone, but I would remind myself: sleep earlier, and tomorrow I’ll feel better.
阿青 A Qing
这样第二天就更有精神了。
PINYIN Zhèyàng dì èr tiān jiù gèng yǒu jīngshén le.
EN Then you had more energy the next day.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。所以我觉得，有时候家人的提醒真的很重要。
PINYIN Duì. Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde, yǒu shíhou jiārén de tíxǐng zhēn de hěn zhòngyào.
EN Yes. So I think sometimes reminders from family are really important.
阿青 A Qing
这也是一个很好的改变。
PINYIN Zhè yě shì yí ge hěn hǎo de gǎibiàn.
EN That is also a very good change.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯。其实很多时候，别人不是让你变成另一个人，而是提醒你照顾自己。
PINYIN Ǹg. Qíshí hěn duō shíhou, biérén bú shì ràng nǐ biàn chéng lìng yí ge rén, ér shì tíxǐng nǐ zhàogù zìjǐ.
EN Yes. Actually, many times, others are not asking you to become another person. They are reminding you to take care of yourself.
阿青 A Qing
说得很好。那除了家人，你有没有为了朋友改变过？
PINYIN Shuō de hěn hǎo. Nà chúle jiārén, nǐ yǒu méiyǒu wèile péngyou gǎibiàn guò?
EN Well said. Besides family, have you ever changed for a friend?
小花 Xiao Hua
有。我有一个朋友很喜欢运动。
PINYIN Yǒu. Wǒ yǒu yí ge péngyou hěn xǐhuān yùndòng.
EN Yes. I have a friend who really likes exercising.
阿青 A Qing
然后他带你去运动？
PINYIN Ránhòu tā dài nǐ qù yùndòng?
EN And then they took you to exercise?
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯。她总是说：“走吧，我们去跑步，只跑十分钟。”
PINYIN ńg. Tā zǒng shì shuō: “Zǒu ba, wǒmen qù pǎobù, zhǐ pǎo shí fēnzhōng.”
EN Yes. She always said, “Come on, let’s go running. Just ten minutes.”
阿青 A Qing
但是十分钟以后，可能又是十分钟。
PINYIN Dànshì shí fēnzhōng yǐhòu, kěnéng yòu shì shí fēnzhōng.
EN But after ten minutes, maybe it becomes another ten minutes.
小花 Xiao Hua
对！她就是这样。刚开始我觉得很累，可是后来，我发现运动以后心情会变好。
PINYIN Duì! Tā jiù shì zhèyàng. Gāng kāishǐ wǒ juéde hěn lèi, kěshì hòulái, wǒ fāxiàn yùndòng yǐhòu xīnqíng huì biàn hǎo.
EN Exactly! She was like that. At first I felt very tired, but later I found that after exercising, my mood became better.
阿青 A Qing
所以朋友也会影响我们。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ péngyou yě huì yǐngxiǎng wǒmen.
EN So friends can also influence us.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯。如果朋友很积极，你也会被带动。
PINYIN ńg. Rúguǒ péngyou hěn jījí, nǐ yě huì bèi dàidòng.
EN Right. If your friend is very positive, you can also be encouraged by them.
C. If You Like Someone, What Might You Change?
小花 Xiao Hua
刚才我们说了家人和朋友。那现在，我们慢慢回到今天的话题吧。
PINYIN Gāngcái wǒmen shuō le jiārén hé péngyou. Nà xiànzài, wǒmen mànmàn huí dào jīntiān de huàtí ba.
EN Just now, we talked about family and friends. Now, let’s slowly come back to today’s topic.
阿青 A Qing
对，今天的话题是：爱一个人会改变你吗？
PINYIN Duì, jīntiān de huàtí shì: ài yí ge rén huì gǎibiàn nǐ ma?
EN Right, today’s topic is: Will loving someone change you?
小花 Xiao Hua
那我想先问一个简单一点的问题。如果你喜欢一个人，你会做什么？
PINYIN Nà wǒ xiǎng xiān wèn yí ge jiǎndān yìdiǎn de wèntí. Rúguǒ nǐ xǐhuān yí ge rén, nǐ huì zuò shénme?
EN Then I want to ask a simpler question first. If you like someone, what would you do?
阿青 A Qing
嗯……这个问题突然有点难。
PINYIN Ǹg… zhège wèntí tūrán yǒudiǎn nán.
EN Hmm… this question suddenly feels a little hard.
小花 Xiao Hua
哈哈，为什么呢？刚才你不是说，人会因为喜欢一个人改变吗？
PINYIN Hāha, wèishénme ne? Gāngcái nǐ bú shì shuō, rén huì yīnwèi xǐhuān yí ge rén gǎibiàn ma?
EN Haha, why? Didn’t you just say people change because they like someone?
阿青 A Qing
是这样没错。但是如果真的问我会做什么，我要想一下。
PINYIN Shì zhèyàng méi cuò. Dànshì rúguǒ zhēn de wèn wǒ huì zuò shénme, wǒ yào xiǎng yíxià.
EN That’s true. But if you really ask what I would do, I need to think about it.
小花 Xiao Hua
好，那你慢慢想。先说一个最简单的。你会不会更注意自己的衣服？
PINYIN Hǎo, nà nǐ mànmàn xiǎng. Xiān shuō yí ge zuì jiǎndān de. Nǐ huì bú huì gèng zhùyì zìjǐ de yīfu?
EN Okay, take your time. Let’s start with the simplest one. Would you pay more attention to your clothes?
阿青 A Qing
会吧。至少见面的时候，我会想穿得干净一点。
PINYIN Huì ba. Zhìshǎo jiànmiàn de shíhou, wǒ huì xiǎng chuān de gānjìng yìdiǎn.
EN Probably. At least when meeting them, I would want to dress a little more neatly.
小花 Xiao Hua
只是干净一点吗？不会想穿得帅一点？
PINYIN Zhǐ shì gānjìng yìdiǎn ma? Bú huì xiǎng chuān de shuài yìdiǎn?
EN Just a little neater? You wouldn’t want to dress a little more handsome?
阿青 A Qing
也会，当然也会。但是不能说得太明显。
PINYIN Yě huì, dāngrán yě huì. Dànshì bù néng shuō de tài míngxiǎn.
EN I would, of course I would. But I can’t say it too obviously.
小花 Xiao Hua
哈哈，为什么不能明显？
PINYIN Hāha, wèishénme bù néng míngxiǎn?
EN Haha, why can’t it be obvious?
阿青 A Qing
因为如果别人一看就知道：“哦，你今天特别打扮了。”我会有点不好意思。
PINYIN Yīnwèi rúguǒ biérén yí kàn jiù zhīdào: “Ó, nǐ jīntiān tèbié dǎban le.” Wǒ huì yǒudiǎn bù hǎoyìsi.
EN Because if people can tell right away, “Oh, you dressed up specially today,” I would feel a little embarrassed.
小花 Xiao Hua
这个很真实。想变好看一点，但是又不想让别人看出来自己很用心。
PINYIN Zhège hěn zhēnshí. Xiǎng biàn hǎokàn yìdiǎn, dànshì yòu bù xiǎng ràng biérén kàn chūlái zìjǐ hěn yòngxīn.
EN That’s very real. You want to look better, but you don’t want others to see that you tried too hard.
阿青 A Qing
对，就是这种感觉。
PINYIN Duì, jiù shì zhè zhǒng gǎnjué.
EN Exactly, that’s the feeling.
小花 Xiao Hua
那除了衣服呢？如果你喜欢一个人，你会不会想学一点新的东西？
PINYIN Nà chúle yīfu ne? Rúguǒ nǐ xǐhuān yí ge rén, nǐ huì bú huì xiǎng xué yìdiǎn xīn de dōngxi?
EN Besides clothes, if you like someone, would you want to learn something new?
阿青 A Qing
会。比如，如果她喜欢吃好吃的，我可能会想学做饭。
PINYIN Huì. Bǐrú, rúguǒ tā xǐhuān chī hǎochī de, wǒ kěnéng huì xiǎng xué zuòfàn.
EN Yes. For example, if she likes good food, I might want to learn how to cook.
小花 Xiao Hua
哦，这个不错。你会做什么菜？
PINYIN Ó, zhège búcuò. Nǐ huì zuò shénme cài?
EN Oh, that’s nice. What dishes can you make?
阿青 A Qing
现在吗？现在只会做很简单的。比如鸡蛋，面条，还有……白米饭。
PINYIN Xiànzài ma? Xiànzài zhǐ huì zuò hěn jiǎndān de. Bǐrú jīdàn, miàntiáo, háiyǒu… bái mǐfàn.
EN Right now? I can only make very simple things. For example, eggs, noodles, and… white rice.
小花 Xiao Hua
白米饭也算吗？
PINYIN Bái mǐfàn yě suàn ma?
EN Does white rice count too?
阿青 A Qing
当然算。饭做不好，也会很难吃。
PINYIN Dāngrán suàn. Fàn zuò bù hǎo, yě huì hěn nánchī.
EN Of course it counts. If rice isn’t cooked well, it can also taste bad.
小花 Xiao Hua
好吧，这个我同意。
PINYIN Hǎo ba, zhège wǒ tóngyì.
EN Okay, I agree with that.
阿青 A Qing
但是如果真的喜欢一个人，我可能会认真学几个菜。不是每天做大餐，但是至少可以做一顿简单的饭。
PINYIN Dànshì rúguǒ zhēn de xǐhuān yí ge rén, wǒ kěnéng huì rènzhēn xué jǐ ge cài. Bú shì měi tiān zuò dàcān, dànshì zhìshǎo kěyǐ zuò yí dùn jiǎndān de fàn.
EN But if I really like someone, I might seriously learn a few dishes. Not to cook a big meal every day, but at least to make a simple meal.
小花 Xiao Hua
我觉得这个改变挺好的。因为学做饭不只是为了别人，也是在照顾自己。
PINYIN Wǒ juéde zhège gǎibiàn tǐng hǎo de. Yīnwèi xué zuòfàn bú zhǐ shì wèile biérén, yě shì zài zhàogù zìjǐ.
EN I think this change is pretty good. Because learning to cook is not only for someone else, but also for taking care of yourself.
阿青 A Qing
嗯。那你呢？如果你喜欢一个人，你会做什么？
PINYIN ńg. Nà nǐ ne? Rúguǒ nǐ xǐhuān yí ge rén, nǐ huì zuò shénme?
EN Right. What about you? If you like someone, what would you do?
小花 Xiao Hua
我可能会变得更认真一点。
PINYIN Wǒ kěnéng huì biàn de gèng rènzhēn yìdiǎn.
EN I might become a little more serious.
阿青 A Qing
哪方面更认真？
PINYIN Nǎ fāngmiàn gèng rènzhēn?
EN More serious in what way?
小花 Xiao Hua
比如学习。以前我可能觉得，今天不想学，那就明天再说。
PINYIN Bǐrú xuéxí. Yǐqián wǒ kěnéng juéde, jīntiān bù xiǎng xué, nà jiù míngtiān zài shuō.
EN For example, studying. Before, I might think, if I don’t want to study today, I’ll just do it tomorrow.
阿青 A Qing
很真实。明天还有明天。
PINYIN Hěn zhēnshí. Míngtiān háiyǒu míngtiān.
EN Very real. There is always another tomorrow.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。但是如果我喜欢的人很努力，我就会想：我也不能一直这样吧。
PINYIN Duì. Dànshì rúguǒ wǒ xǐhuān de rén hěn nǔlì, wǒ jiù huì xiǎng: wǒ yě bù néng yìzhí zhèyàng ba.
EN Right. But if the person I like works very hard, I would think: I can’t keep being like this forever, right?
阿青 A Qing
所以你会被对方带动。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ nǐ huì bèi duìfāng dàidòng.
EN So you would be encouraged by that person.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。不是因为对方要求我学习，而是我自己想变得更好一点。
PINYIN Duì. Bú shì yīnwèi duìfāng yāoqiú wǒ xuéxí, ér shì wǒ zìjǐ xiǎng biàn de gèng hǎo yìdiǎn.
EN Right. Not because that person asks me to study, but because I myself want to become a little better.
阿青 A Qing
这个感觉很好。喜欢一个人以后，不是只想和对方聊天，也会想让自己进步。
PINYIN Zhège gǎnjué hěn hǎo. Xǐhuān yí ge rén yǐhòu, bú shì zhǐ xiǎng hé duìfāng liáotiān, yě huì xiǎng ràng zìjǐ jìnbù.
EN That feeling is good. After liking someone, you don’t only want to chat with them, you also want yourself to improve.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯。不过我也觉得，不是每个人喜欢别人以后都会这样。
PINYIN Ǹg. Búguò wǒ yě juéde, bú shì měi ge rén xǐhuān biérén yǐhòu dōu huì zhèyàng.
EN Yes. But I also think not everyone becomes like this after liking someone.
阿青 A Qing
对。有的人会变得更努力，有的人反而会变得很紧张。
PINYIN Duì. Yǒu de rén huì biàn de gèng nǔlì, yǒu de rén fǎn’ér huì biàn de hěn jǐnzhāng.
EN Right. Some people become more hardworking, while some become very nervous instead.
小花 Xiao Hua
比如一看到对方，就不知道说什么。
PINYIN Bǐrú yí kàn dào duìfāng, jiù bù zhīdào shuō shénme.
EN For example, as soon as they see that person, they don’t know what to say.
阿青 A Qing
或者本来很会说话，突然变得很安静。
PINYIN Huòzhě běnlái hěn huì shuōhuà, tūrán biàn de hěn ānjìng.
EN Or they are usually good at talking, but suddenly become very quiet.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，还有人会一直看手机，看对方有没有发消息。
PINYIN ńg, háiyǒu rén huì yìzhí kàn shǒujī, kàn duìfāng yǒu méiyǒu fā xiāoxi.
EN Right, and some people keep checking their phone to see if the other person sent a message.
阿青 A Qing
这个太真实了。明明手机没有响，还是想看一下。
PINYIN Zhège tài zhēnshí le. Míngmíng shǒujī méiyǒu xiǎng, háishi xiǎng kàn yíxià.
EN That’s too real. Even when the phone doesn’t ring, they still want to check it.
小花 Xiao Hua
然后看完以后发现没有消息，心情就有一点低。
PINYIN Ránhòu kàn wán yǐhòu fāxiàn méiyǒu xiāoxi, xīnqíng jiù yǒu yìdiǎn dī.
EN Then after checking and seeing no message, their mood becomes a little low.
阿青 A Qing
所以喜欢一个人，也可能让人变得很敏感。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ xǐhuān yí ge rén, yě kěnéng ràng rén biàn de hěn mǐngǎn.
EN So liking someone can also make people become very sensitive.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。但是今天我们先不说太复杂的感情。我们说简单一点。
PINYIN Duì. Dànshì jīntiān wǒmen xiān bù shuō tài fùzá de gǎnqíng. Wǒmen shuō jiǎndān yìdiǎn.
EN Right. But today, let’s not talk about overly complicated emotions yet. Let’s keep it simpler.
阿青 A Qing
好。简单来说，如果喜欢一个人，很多人会想让自己看起来更好一点，做事更认真一点。
PINYIN Hǎo. Jiǎndān lái shuō, rúguǒ xǐhuān yí ge rén, hěn duō rén huì xiǎng ràng zìjǐ kàn qǐlái gèng hǎo yìdiǎn, zuòshì gèng rènzhēn yìdiǎn.
EN Okay. Simply put, if someone likes a person, many people want to look a little better and do things a little more seriously.
小花 Xiao Hua
也可能会想学一点东西。比如做饭，运动，学习，或者说话更温柔一点。
PINYIN Yě kěnéng huì xiǎng xué yìdiǎn dōngxi. Bǐrú zuòfàn, yùndòng, xuéxí, huòzhě shuōhuà gèng wēnróu yìdiǎn.
EN They may also want to learn something, like cooking, exercising, studying, or speaking more gently.
阿青 A Qing
说到说话更温柔，我觉得这个也很常见。
PINYIN Shuō dào shuōhuà gèng wēnróu, wǒ juéde zhège yě hěn chángjiàn.
EN Speaking of talking more gently, I think this is also very common.
小花 Xiao Hua
怎么说？
PINYIN Zěnme shuō?
EN What do you mean?
阿青 A Qing
比如以前说话很急，别人还没说完，自己就先说了。
PINYIN Bǐrú yǐqián shuōhuà hěn jí, biérén hái méi shuō wán, zìjǐ jiù xiān shuō le.
EN For example, before, someone spoke very quickly and started talking before the other person finished.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这样对方可能会觉得不舒服。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhèyàng duìfāng kěnéng huì juéde bù shūfu.
EN Yes, the other person may feel uncomfortable.
阿青 A Qing
对。如果喜欢一个人，可能就会提醒自己：等一下，先听他说完。
PINYIN Duì. Rúguǒ xǐhuān yí ge rén, kěnéng jiù huì tíxǐng zìjǐ: děng yíxià, xiān tīng tā shuō wán.
EN Right. If you like someone, you may remind yourself: wait, let them finish first.
小花 Xiao Hua
这个改变虽然很小，但是很温柔。
PINYIN Zhège gǎibiàn suīrán hěn xiǎo, dànshì hěn wēnróu.
EN This change is small, but very gentle.
阿青 A Qing
嗯。有时候喜欢一个人，不一定是做很大的事情。
PINYIN Ǹg. Yǒu shíhou xǐhuān yí ge rén, bù yídìng shì zuò hěn dà de shìqing.
EN Yes. Sometimes liking someone does not necessarily mean doing big things.
小花 Xiao Hua
可能只是回消息快一点，记得对方喜欢什么，或者在对方累的时候问一句：“你还好吗？”
PINYIN Kěnéng zhǐ shì huí xiāoxi kuài yìdiǎn, jìde duìfāng xǐhuān shénme, huòzhě zài duìfāng lèi de shíhou wèn yí jù: “Nǐ hái hǎo ma?”
EN It may just be replying a little faster, remembering what the other person likes, or asking, “Are you okay?” when they are tired.
阿青 A Qing
对，这些小事其实很重要。
PINYIN Duì, zhèxiē xiǎoshì qíshí hěn zhòngyào.
EN Right, these small things are actually very important.
小花 Xiao Hua
但是我觉得，喜欢一个人以后，也不要一下子变得太不像自己。
PINYIN Dànshì wǒ juéde, xǐhuān yí ge rén yǐhòu, yě bú yào yíxiàzi biàn de tài bú xiàng zìjǐ.
EN But I think after liking someone, you shouldn’t suddenly become too unlike yourself.
阿青 A Qing
这个我同意。比如为了对方，突然说自己喜欢很多其实不喜欢的东西。
PINYIN Zhège wǒ tóngyì. Bǐrú wèile duìfāng, tūrán shuō zìjǐ xǐhuān hěn duō qíshí bù xǐhuān de dōngxi.
EN I agree. For example, for the other person, suddenly saying you like many things that you actually don’t like.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。比如对方喜欢爬山，你其实不喜欢，但是你说：“我特别喜欢爬山。”
PINYIN Duì. Bǐrú duìfāng xǐhuān páshān, nǐ qíshí bù xǐhuān, dànshì nǐ shuō: “Wǒ tèbié xǐhuān páshān.”
EN Right. For example, the other person likes hiking. You don’t actually like it, but you say, “I really love hiking.”
阿青 A Qing
然后第一次去爬山，就累到不想说话。
PINYIN Ránhòu dì yī cì qù páshān, jiù lèi dào bù xiǎng shuōhuà.
EN Then the first time you go hiking, you get so tired you don’t want to talk.
小花 Xiao Hua
哈哈，对。这样就有点辛苦了。
PINYIN Hāha, duì. Zhèyàng jiù yǒudiǎn xīnkǔ le.
EN Haha, right. That becomes a little hard.
阿青 A Qing
所以我觉得，可以为了喜欢的人尝试新东西，但不一定要假装自己本来就喜欢。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde, kěyǐ wèile xǐhuān de rén chángshì xīn dōngxi, dàn bù yídìng yào jiǎzhuāng zìjǐ běnlái jiù xǐhuān.
EN So I think you can try new things for someone you like, but you don’t have to pretend that you liked them from the beginning.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这句话很好。可以尝试，但不用假装。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhè jù huà hěn hǎo. Kěyǐ chángshì, dàn bú yòng jiǎzhuāng.
EN Yes, that’s a good sentence. You can try, but you don’t need to pretend.
阿青 A Qing
而且喜欢一个人，不只是想让对方喜欢你，也可以让你更认识自己。
PINYIN Érqiě xǐhuān yí ge rén, bú zhǐ shì xiǎng ràng duìfāng xǐhuān nǐ, yě kěyǐ ràng nǐ gèng rènshi zìjǐ.
EN Also, liking someone is not only about wanting that person to like you. It can also help you understand yourself better.
小花 Xiao Hua
比如你会发现，原来我也可以早睡，原来我也可以学习做饭，原来我也可以认真听别人说话。
PINYIN Bǐrú nǐ huì fāxiàn, yuánlái wǒ yě kěyǐ zǎoshuì, yuánlái wǒ yě kěyǐ xuéxí zuòfàn, yuánlái wǒ yě kěyǐ rènzhēn tīng biérén shuōhuà.
EN For example, you may realize: actually, I can sleep earlier, I can learn to cook, and I can listen carefully to others.
阿青 A Qing
对。这样想的话，喜欢一个人也不一定只是甜甜的事情。它也会让人看到自己的另一面。
PINYIN Duì. Zhèyàng xiǎng de huà, xǐhuān yí ge rén yě bù yídìng zhǐ shì tián tián de shìqing. Tā yě huì ràng rén kàn dào zìjǐ de lìng yí miàn.
EN Right. If we think about it this way, liking someone is not only something sweet. It can also let people see another side of themselves.
小花 Xiao Hua
不过，我们刚才说了很多“可能会做什么”。下一部分，我想聊得更清楚一点。
PINYIN Búguò, wǒmen gāngcái shuō le hěn duō “kěnéng huì zuò shénme”. Xià yí bùfen, wǒ xiǎng liáo de gèng qīngchu yìdiǎn.
EN But just now, we talked a lot about “what we might do.” In the next part, I want to talk about it more clearly.
小花 Xiao Hua
什么样的改变，是真的让人变好。
PINYIN shénme yàng de gǎibiàn, shì zhēn de ràng rén biàn hǎo.
EN what kind of changes truly make people better.
D. What Kind of Change Truly Makes You Better?
阿青 A Qing
比如早睡。听起来一定是好事。
PINYIN Bǐrú zǎoshuì. Tīng qǐlái yídìng shì hǎoshì.
EN For example, sleeping early. It sounds like it must be a good thing.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。但是如果你只是因为害怕对方不开心，逼自己每天很早睡，其实心里很紧张，那也不一定舒服。
PINYIN Duì. Dànshì rúguǒ nǐ zhǐ shì yīnwèi hàipà duìfāng bù kāixīn, bī zìjǐ měi tiān hěn zǎo shuì, qíshí xīnlǐ hěn jǐnzhāng, nà yě bù yídìng shūfu.
EN Right. But if you only force yourself to sleep very early every day because you’re afraid the other person will be unhappy, and you feel nervous inside, then it may not feel comfortable.
阿青 A Qing
哦，我明白了。好的改变，不只是看行为，也要看心里的感觉。
PINYIN Ó, wǒ míngbái le. Hǎo de gǎibiàn, bú zhǐ shì kàn xíngwéi, yě yào kàn xīnlǐ de gǎnjué.
EN Oh, I understand. A good change is not only about the behavior, but also about the feeling inside.
小花 Xiao Hua
阿青 A Qing
照顾身体，不只是为了变好看，对吧？
PINYIN Zhàogù shēntǐ, bú zhǐ shì wèile biàn hǎokàn, duì ba?
EN Taking care of your body is not only about becoming better-looking, right?
小花 Xiao Hua
对。不是只为了别人觉得你好看，而是你自己睡得更好，吃得更好，精神也更好。
PINYIN Duì. Bú shì zhǐ wèile biérén juéde nǐ hǎokàn, ér shì nǐ zìjǐ shuì de gèng hǎo, chī de gèng hǎo, jīngshén yě gèng hǎo.
EN Right. It’s not only so others think you look good, but so you sleep better, eat better, and have better energy.
阿青 A Qing
这个我觉得很重要。有些人喜欢一个人以后，会很在意外表。
PINYIN Zhège wǒ juéde hěn zhòngyào. Yǒuxiē rén xǐhuān yí ge rén yǐhòu, huì hěn zàiyì wàibiǎo.
EN I think this is very important. Some people care a lot about appearance after liking someone.
小花 Xiao Hua
注意外表没有问题。穿得干净一点，好看一点，都很好。
PINYIN Zhùyì wàibiǎo méiyǒu wèntí. Chuān de gānjìng yìdiǎn, hǎokàn yìdiǎn, dōu hěn hǎo.
EN Paying attention to appearance is not a problem. Dressing more neatly and nicely is all good.
阿青 A Qing
但是如果每天都觉得“我不够好看，所以他不会喜欢我”，那就很累。
PINYIN Dànshì rúguǒ měi tiān dōu juéde “wǒ bú gòu hǎokàn, suǒyǐ tā bú huì xǐhuān wǒ”, nà jiù hěn lèi.
EN But if every day you think, “I’m not good-looking enough, so they won’t like me,” then that’s very tiring.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。所以好的改变，是照顾自己，不是讨厌自己。
PINYIN Duì. Suǒyǐ hǎo de gǎibiàn, shì zhàogù zìjǐ, bú shì tǎoyàn zìjǐ.
EN Right. So a good change is taking care of yourself, not disliking yourself.
阿青 A Qing
这句话很好。照顾自己，不是讨厌自己。
PINYIN Zhè jù huà hěn hǎo. Zhàogù zìjǐ, bú shì tǎoyàn zìjǐ.
EN That sentence is good. Take care of yourself, don’t dislike yourself.
小花 Xiao Hua
还有，好的改变应该让你发展自己。
PINYIN Háiyǒu, hǎo de gǎibiàn yīnggāi ràng nǐ fāzhǎn zìjǐ.
EN Also, a good change should help you develop yourself.
阿青 A Qing
比如学一个新的东西？
PINYIN Bǐrú xué yí ge xīn de dōngxi?
EN Like learning something new?
小花 Xiao Hua
对。比如你开始学习一门语言，开始读书，开始认真做自己的事情。
PINYIN Duì. Bǐrú nǐ kāishǐ xuéxí yì mén yǔyán, kāishǐ dúshū, kāishǐ rènzhēn zuò zìjǐ de shìqing.
EN Right. For example, you start learning a language, start reading, or start doing your own things seriously.
阿青 A Qing
这些只是例子，重点是你自己在往前走。
PINYIN Zhèxiē zhǐ shì lìzi, zhòngdiǎn shì nǐ zìjǐ zài wǎng qián zǒu.
EN These are just examples. The point is that you are moving forward yourself.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯。不是为了追上某个人，也不是为了证明自己配得上谁。
PINYIN ńg. Bú shì wèile zhuī shàng mǒu ge rén, yě bú shì wèile zhèngmíng zìjǐ pèi de shàng shéi.
EN Right. Not to catch up with someone, and not to prove that you are worthy of someone.
阿青 A Qing
而是因为你发现，原来我也可以更好。
PINYIN Ér shì yīnwèi nǐ fāxiàn, yuánlái wǒ yě kěyǐ gèng hǎo.
EN But because you realize, actually, I can also become better.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。如果一个人让你看到自己的可能性，我觉得这是很好的影响。
PINYIN Duì. Rúguǒ yí ge rén ràng nǐ kàn dào zìjǐ de kěnéng, wǒ juéde zhè shì hěn hǎo de yǐngxiǎng.
EN Right. If someone lets you see your own possibilities, I think that’s a very good influence.
小花 Xiao Hua
好的改变，最后应该回到自己身上。
PINYIN Hǎo de gǎibiàn, zuìhòu yīnggāi huí dào zìjǐ shēnshang.
EN A good change should eventually come back to yourself.
阿青 A Qing
我想补充一点。好的改变，也会让你的心变大一点。
PINYIN Wǒ xiǎng bǔchōng yìdiǎn. Hǎo de gǎibiàn, yě huì ràng nǐ de xīn biàn dà yìdiǎn.
EN I want to add something. A good change can also make your heart a little bigger.
小花 Xiao Hua
心变大一点？这个说法挺有意思。
PINYIN Xīn biàn dà yìdiǎn? Zhège shuōfǎ tǐng yǒu yìsi.
EN Your heart becomes a little bigger? That’s an interesting way to say it.
阿青 A Qing
我的意思是，以前你可能只想自己开心不开心。
PINYIN Wǒ de yìsi shì, yǐqián nǐ kěnéng zhǐ xiǎng zìjǐ kāixīn bù kāixīn.
EN I mean, before, you may only think about whether you are happy or not.
小花 Xiao Hua
后来开始想到别人。
PINYIN Hòulái kāishǐ xiǎng dào biérén.
EN Later, you start thinking about others.
阿青 A Qing
对。你会想，他今天累不累？他今天有没有好好吃饭？我说的话会不会让对方不舒服？
PINYIN Duì. Nǐ huì xiǎng, tā jīntiān lèi bú lèi? Tā jīntiān yǒu méiyǒu hǎohǎo chīfàn? Wǒ shuō de huà huì bú huì ràng duìfāng bù shūfu?
EN Right. You think, is he tired today? Did he eat properly today? Will what I say make the other person uncomfortable?
小花 Xiao Hua
这就是开始有同理心。
PINYIN Zhè jiù shì kāishǐ yǒu tónglǐxīn.
EN This is starting to have empathy.
阿青 A Qing
对。可能这个词有点难，简单说就是：你开始懂得站在别人那边想一想。
PINYIN Duì. Kěnéng zhège cí yǒudiǎn nán, jiǎndān shuō jiù shì: nǐ kāishǐ dǒngde zhàn zài biérén nà biān xiǎng yi xiǎng.
EN Right. This word may be a little difficult. Simply put, it means you start to know how to think from another person’s side.
小花 Xiao Hua
看见对方的感受，看见对方的辛苦，也看见对方的需要。
PINYIN Kànjiàn duìfāng de gǎnshòu, kànjiàn duìfāng de xīnkǔ, yě kànjiàn duìfāng de xūyào.
EN Seeing the other person’s feelings, their hard work, and their needs.
阿青 A Qing
但是这里也要小心。关心别人，不是忘记自己。
PINYIN Dànshì zhèlǐ yě yào xiǎoxīn. Guānxīn biérén, bú shì wàngjì zìjǐ.
EN But we also need to be careful here. Caring about others does not mean forgetting yourself.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。好的改变，应该让你更会爱别人，也更会爱自己。
PINYIN Duì. Hǎo de gǎibiàn, yīnggāi ràng nǐ gèng huì ài biérén, yě gèng huì ài zìjǐ.
EN Right. A good change should make you better at loving others and also better at loving yourself.
小花 Xiao Hua
这也是很好的改变。
PINYIN Zhè yě shì hěn hǎo de gǎibiàn.
EN This is also a very good change.
阿青 A Qing
如果一个改变让你越来越不开心，越来越没有自己，那可能就要停下来想一想了。
PINYIN Rúguǒ yí ge gǎibiàn ràng nǐ yuèláiyuè bù kāixīn, yuèláiyuè méiyǒu zìjǐ, nà kěnéng jiù yào tíng xiàlái xiǎng yi xiǎng le.
EN If a change makes you more and more unhappy and less and less yourself, then maybe you need to stop and think about it.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这就回到下一个问题了：我们可以为一个人改变，但是可以改变到什么程度？
PINYIN Ǹg, zhè jiù huí dào xià yí ge wèntí le: wǒmen kěyǐ wèi yí ge rén gǎibiàn, dànshì kěyǐ gǎibiàn dào shénme chéngdù?
EN Yes, this brings us to the next question: We can change for someone, but how much can we change?
阿青 A Qing
嗯 。有没有一些东西，是不应该轻易改变的？
PINYIN ńg . Yǒu méiyǒu yìxiē dōngxi, shì bù yīnggāi qīngyì gǎibiàn de?
EN Right. Are there some things that we shouldn’t easily change?
小花 Xiao Hua
下一部分，我们就来聊这个问题。
PINYIN Xià yí bùfen, wǒmen jiù lái liáo zhège wèntí.
EN In the next part, let’s talk about this question.
E. How Far Should You Change for Someone?
小花 Xiao Hua
如果我真的很喜欢一个人，我是不是应该为了他改变所有东西？
PINYIN Rúguǒ wǒ zhēn de hěn xǐhuān yí ge rén, wǒ shì bu shì yīnggāi wèile tā gǎibiàn suǒyǒu dōngxi?
EN If I really like someone, should I change everything for them?
阿青 A Qing
嗯……我觉得，这个问题不能太快回答。
PINYIN Ǹg… wǒ juéde, zhège wèntí bù néng tài kuài huídá.
EN Hmm… I think we shouldn’t answer this question too quickly.
小花 Xiao Hua
为什么？
PINYIN Wèishénme?
EN Why?
阿青 A Qing
因为喜欢一个人的时候，人真的会很想变好，也会很想让对方开心。
PINYIN Yīnwèi xǐhuān yí ge rén de shíhou, rén zhēn de huì hěn xiǎng biàn hǎo, yě huì hěn xiǎng ràng duìfāng kāixīn.
EN Because when you like someone, you really want to become better, and you also really want to make that person happy.
阿青 A Qing
可是问题是，改变一点和改变全部，是两件事。
PINYIN Kěshì wèntí shì, gǎibiàn yìdiǎn hé gǎibiàn quánbù, shì liǎng jiàn shì.
EN But the problem is, changing a little and changing everything are two different things.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这句话很重要。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhè jù huà hěn zhòngyào.
EN Hmm, this sentence is very important.
阿青 A Qing
我觉得可以为了一个人改变一些不好的习惯，但是不应该为了一个人，把自己的生活都换掉。
PINYIN Wǒ juéde kěyǐ wèile yí ge rén gǎibiàn yìxiē bù hǎo de xíguàn, dànshì bù yīnggāi wèile yí ge rén, bǎ zìjǐ de shēnghuó dōu huàn diào.
EN I think we can change some bad habits for someone, but we shouldn’t replace our whole life for one person.
小花 Xiao Hua
比如可以改掉迟到的习惯。
PINYIN Bǐrú kěyǐ gǎi diào chídào de xíguàn.
EN For example, you can change the habit of being late.
阿青 A Qing
对，可以改掉说话太急的习惯。
PINYIN Duì, kěyǐ gǎi diào shuōhuà tài jí de xíguàn.
EN Right, you can change the habit of speaking too quickly or impatiently.
小花 Xiao Hua
也可以学着更认真地听别人说话。
PINYIN Yě kěyǐ xué zhe gèng rènzhēn de tīng biérén shuōhuà.
EN You can also learn to listen to others more seriously.
阿青 A Qing
但是如果为了对方，把朋友、爱好、目标都放下，那就不太对了。
PINYIN Dànshì rúguǒ wèile duìfāng, bǎ péngyou, àihào, mùbiāo dōu fàng xià, nà jiù bú tài duì le.
EN But if you put down your friends, hobbies, and goals for that person, then that’s not quite right.
阿青 A Qing
很多人喜欢一个人以后，就开始把自己的爱好放到最后。
PINYIN Hěn duō rén xǐhuān yí ge rén yǐhòu, jiù kāishǐ bǎ zìjǐ de àihào fàng dào zuìhòu.
EN After liking someone, many people start putting their own hobbies last.
小花 Xiao Hua
你说到爱好，我觉得这个很常见。
PINYIN Nǐ shuō dào àihào, wǒ juéde zhège hěn chángjiàn.
EN Speaking of hobbies, I think this is very common.
小花 Xiao Hua
比如以前喜欢画画，喜欢唱歌，喜欢打球，可是后来都不做了。
PINYIN Bǐrú yǐqián xǐhuān huàhuà, xǐhuān chànggē, xǐhuān dǎqiú, kěshì hòulái dōu bú zuò le.
EN For example, they used to like drawing, singing, or playing ball, but later they stop doing all of them.
阿青 A Qing
小花 Xiao Hua
因为自己喜欢的东西不见了。
PINYIN Yīnwèi zìjǐ xǐhuān de dōngxi bú jiàn le.
EN Because the things they like have disappeared.
阿青 A Qing
嗯。爱好不是没用的东西。它有时候是一个人休息的地方。
PINYIN ńg. Àihào bú shì méi yòng de dōngxi. Tā yǒu shíhou shì yí ge rén xiūxi de dìfang.
EN Right. Hobbies are not useless things. Sometimes they are a place where a person rests.
阿青 A Qing
比如有人画画的时候，会觉得很安静。有人打球的时候，会觉得压力小一点。
PINYIN Bǐrú yǒu rén huàhuà de shíhou, huì juéde hěn ānjìng. Yǒu rén dǎqiú de shíhou, huì juéde yālì xiǎo yìdiǎn.
EN For example, some people feel peaceful when they draw. Some people feel less stressed when they play ball.
小花 Xiao Hua
如果这些都没有了，人可能就没有地方放自己的心情。
PINYIN Rúguǒ zhèxiē dōu méiyǒu le, rén kěnéng jiù méiyǒu dìfang fàng zìjǐ de xīnqíng.
EN If all of these are gone, a person may have no place to put their feelings.
阿青 A Qing
对。所以可以少一点，但是不要完全没有。
PINYIN Duì. Suǒyǐ kěyǐ shǎo yìdiǎn, dànshì bú yào wánquán méiyǒu.
EN Right. So you can do it a little less, but don’t let it disappear completely.
小花 Xiao Hua
比如谈恋爱以后，时间变少了。那可以一个星期画一次，不一定每天画。
PINYIN Bǐrú tán liàn’ài yǐhòu, shíjiān biàn shǎo le. Nà kěyǐ yí ge xīngqī huà yí cì, bù yídìng měi tiān huà.
EN For example, after dating, you have less time. Then you can draw once a week, not necessarily every day.
阿青 A Qing
对，这是调整，不是放弃。
PINYIN Duì, zhè shì tiáozhěng, bú shì fàngqì.
EN Right. This is adjustment, not giving up.
阿青 A Qing
其实说到这里，我想讲一个我自己的小故事。
PINYIN Qíshí shuō dào zhèlǐ, wǒ xiǎng jiǎng yí ge wǒ zìjǐ de xiǎo gùshi.
EN Actually, speaking of this, I want to tell a small story of my own.
小花 Xiao Hua
好啊，我想听。
PINYIN Hǎo a, wǒ xiǎng tīng.
EN Sure, I want to hear it.
阿青 A Qing
以前我喜欢过一个人。那个时候，我真的很在意她怎么看我。
PINYIN Yǐqián wǒ xǐhuān guò yí ge rén. Nà ge shíhou, wǒ zhēn de hěn zàiyì tā zěnme kàn wǒ.
EN I liked someone before. At that time, I really cared about how she saw me.
阿青 A Qing
她不太喜欢吵的地方，也不太喜欢运动。可是我以前很喜欢和朋友一起打球。
PINYIN Tā bú tài xǐhuān chǎo de dìfang, yě bú tài xǐhuān yùndòng. Kěshì wǒ yǐqián hěn xǐhuān hé péngyou yìqǐ dǎqiú.
EN She didn’t really like noisy places and didn’t really like sports. But I used to really like playing ball with my friends.
小花 Xiao Hua
所以你后来就不打球了？
PINYIN Suǒyǐ nǐ hòulái jiù bù dǎqiú le?
EN So later you stopped playing ball?
阿青 A Qing
差不多。刚开始只是少去一次、两次。后来朋友叫我，我就说：“今天不去了。”
PINYIN Chàbuduō. Gāng kāishǐ zhǐ shì shǎo qù yí cì, liǎng cì. Hòulái péngyou jiào wǒ, wǒ jiù shuō: “Jīntiān bú qù le.”
EN More or less. At first, I just went one or two times less. Later, when my friends called me, I would say, “I’m not going today.”
小花 Xiao Hua
是因为她让你不要去吗？
PINYIN Shì yīnwèi tā ràng nǐ bú yào qù ma?
EN Was it because she told you not to go?
阿青 A Qing
不是。她没有直接说。是我自己想太多。
PINYIN Bú shì. Tā méiyǒu zhíjiē shuō. Shì wǒ zìjǐ xiǎng tài duō.
EN No. She didn’t say it directly. I just overthought it myself.
小花 Xiao Hua
你在想什么？
PINYIN Nǐ zài xiǎng shénme?
EN What were you thinking?
阿青 A Qing
我想，如果我去打球，她会不会觉得我太爱玩？如果我和朋友出去，她会不会觉得我不在意她？
PINYIN Wǒ xiǎng, rúguǒ wǒ qù dǎqiú, tā huì bú huì juéde wǒ tài ài wán? Rúguǒ wǒ hé péngyou chūqù, tā huì bú huì juéde wǒ bú zàiyì tā?
EN I thought, if I go play ball, will she think I love playing too much? If I go out with my friends, will she think I don’t care about her?
小花 Xiao Hua
所以其实没有人要求你，但是你自己开始害怕。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ qíshí méiyǒu rén yāoqiú nǐ, dànshì nǐ zìjǐ kāishǐ hàipà.
EN So actually, no one asked you to do that, but you started becoming afraid yourself.
小花 Xiao Hua
那段时间你开心吗？
PINYIN Nà duàn shíjiān nǐ kāixīn ma?
EN Were you happy during that time?
阿青 A Qing
一开始觉得还好。因为我觉得，我是在认真喜欢一个人。
PINYIN Yì kāishǐ juéde hái hǎo. Yīnwèi wǒ juéde, wǒ shì zài rènzhēn xǐhuān yí ge rén.
EN At first, I felt okay, because I thought I was seriously liking someone.
阿青 A Qing
但是后来，我发现自己很久没有打球，也很久没有和朋友好好聊天了。
PINYIN Dànshì hòulái, wǒ fāxiàn zìjǐ hěn jiǔ méiyǒu dǎqiú, yě hěn jiǔ méiyǒu hé péngyou hǎohǎo liáotiān le.
EN But later, I realized I hadn’t played ball for a long time, and I hadn’t had a proper chat with my friends for a long time either.
阿青 A Qing
以前我的生活里有朋友、有运动、有自己的时间。后来好像只剩下一个问题：她会不会喜欢我？
PINYIN Yǐqián wǒ de shēnghuó lǐ yǒu péngyou, yǒu yùndòng, yǒu zìjǐ de shíjiān. Hòulái hǎoxiàng zhǐ shèng xià yí ge wèntí: tā huì bú huì xǐhuān wǒ?
EN Before, my life had friends, exercise, and my own time. Later, it seemed there was only one question left: Will she like me?
小花 Xiao Hua
这样真的会很累。
PINYIN Zhèyàng zhēn de huì hěn lèi.
EN That must be really tiring.
阿青 A Qing
是。后来有一次，一个朋友问我：“你最近怎么都不来打球了？你是不是不开心？”
PINYIN Shì. Hòulái yǒu yí cì, yí ge péngyou wèn wǒ: “Nǐ zuìjìn zěnme dōu bù lái dǎqiú le? Nǐ shì bu shì bù kāixīn?”
EN Yes. Later, once a friend asked me, “Why haven’t you come to play ball recently? Are you unhappy?”
阿青 A Qing
那时候我才发现，原来别人也看得出来。
PINYIN Nà shíhou wǒ cái fāxiàn, yuánlái biérén yě kàn de chūlái.
EN At that time, I realized that others could see it too.
小花 Xiao Hua
然后你怎么做？
PINYIN Ránhòu nǐ zěnme zuò?
EN And what did you do then?
阿青 A Qing
我慢慢开始把自己的时间找回来。比如一周打一两次球，也会正常见朋友。
PINYIN Wǒ mànmàn kāishǐ bǎ zìjǐ de shíjiān zhǎo huílái. Bǐrú yì zhōu dǎ yí liǎng cì qiú, yě huì zhèngcháng jiàn péngyou.
EN I slowly started taking back my own time. For example, playing ball once or twice a week, and meeting friends normally.
小花 Xiao Hua
那你还会在意她吗？
PINYIN Nà nǐ hái huì zàiyì tā ma?
EN Did you still care about her?
阿青 A Qing
会啊。只是我发现，在意一个人，不代表我要放掉全部生活。
PINYIN Huì a. Zhǐ shì wǒ fāxiàn, zàiyì yí ge rén, bù dàibiǎo wǒ yào fàng diào quánbù shēnghuó.
EN Yes. I just realized that caring about someone doesn’t mean I have to let go of my whole life.
阿青 A Qing
后来我也明白，如果一个人真的喜欢你，他应该也会希望你有自己的朋友和快乐。
PINYIN Hòulái wǒ yě míngbái, rúguǒ yí ge rén zhēn de xǐhuān nǐ, tā yīnggāi yě huì xīwàng nǐ yǒu zìjǐ de péngyou hé kuàilè.
EN Later, I also understood that if someone truly likes you, they should also hope you have your own friends and happiness.
小花 Xiao Hua
还有一种情况，也要小心。
PINYIN Háiyǒu yì zhǒng qíngkuàng, yě yào xiǎoxīn.
EN There is another situation we also need to be careful about.
小花 Xiao Hua
就是什么都听对方的。
PINYIN Jiù shì shénme dōu tīng duìfāng de.
EN It’s listening to the other person in everything.
阿青 A Qing
嗯，这个也很容易发生。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhège yě hěn róngyì fāshēng.
EN Hmm, this can also happen easily.
阿青 A Qing
如果是想听听对方的意见，那没问题。
PINYIN Rúguǒ shì xiǎng tīng ting duìfāng de yìjiàn, nà méi wèntí.
EN If you just want to hear their opinion, that’s okay.
阿青 A Qing
但是如果你已经不敢自己做决定，那就不一样了。
PINYIN Dànshì rúguǒ nǐ yǐjīng bù gǎn zìjǐ zuò juédìng, nà jiù bù yíyàng le.
EN But if you already don’t dare to make decisions by yourself, then that’s different.
阿青 A Qing
因为如果你很喜欢对方，你会觉得：他这样说，也是因为在意我吧。
PINYIN Yīnwèi rúguǒ nǐ hěn xǐhuān duìfāng, nǐ huì juéde: tā zhèyàng shuō, yě shì yīnwèi zàiyì wǒ ba.
EN Because if you really like the person, you may think: they say this because they care about me.
阿青 A Qing
所以我觉得，改变可以有，但是要有一个底线。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde, gǎibiàn kěyǐ yǒu, dànshì yào yǒu yí ge dǐxiàn.
EN So I think change is okay, but there needs to be a bottom line.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。底线就是，不要丢掉自己。
PINYIN Duì. Dǐxiàn jiù shì, bú yào diū diào zìjǐ.
EN Right. The bottom line is: don’t lose yourself.
阿青 A Qing
可以改变坏习惯。
PINYIN Kěyǐ gǎibiàn huài xíguàn.
EN You can change bad habits.
小花 Xiao Hua
可以学会关心别人。
PINYIN Kěyǐ xuéhuì guānxīn biérén.
EN You can learn to care about others.
阿青 A Qing
可以让自己更成熟。
PINYIN Kěyǐ ràng zìjǐ gèng chéngshú.
EN You can make yourself more mature.
小花 Xiao Hua
但是不要丢掉自己的朋友。
PINYIN Dànshì bú yào diū diào zìjǐ de péngyou.
EN But don’t lose your friends.
阿青 A Qing
不要丢掉自己的爱好。
PINYIN Bú yào diū diào zìjǐ de àihào.
EN Don’t lose your hobbies.
小花 Xiao Hua
不要丢掉自己的目标。
PINYIN Bú yào diū diào zìjǐ de mùbiāo.
EN Don’t lose your goals.
阿青 A Qing
也不要丢掉那个本来就值得被喜欢的自己。
PINYIN Yě bú yào diū diào nà ge běnlái jiù zhíde bèi xǐhuān de zìjǐ.
EN And don’t lose the self that was already worthy of being liked.
小花 Xiao Hua
嗯，这句话很好。其实你本来就有自己的价值。
PINYIN Ǹg, zhè jù huà hěn hǎo. Qíshí nǐ běnlái jiù yǒu zìjǐ de jiàzhí.
EN Hmm, that sentence is very good. Actually, you already have your own value.
小花 Xiao Hua
所以，爱里的改变，最好不是因为害怕。
PINYIN Suǒyǐ, ài lǐ de gǎibiàn, zuì hǎo bú shì yīnwèi hàipà.
EN So changes in love should preferably not come from fear.
阿青 A Qing
而是因为你真的想成为更好的自己。
PINYIN Ér shì yīnwèi nǐ zhēn de xiǎng chéngwéi gèng hǎo de zìjǐ.
EN But because you really want to become a better version of yourself.
G. Conclusion — Change Without Losing Yourself
阿青 A Qing
聊到这里，我觉得今天的问题，好像有答案了。
PINYIN Liáo dào zhèlǐ, wǒ juéde jīntiān de wèntí, hǎoxiàng yǒu dá’àn le.
EN Now that we’ve talked this far, I feel like today’s question has an answer.
小花 Xiao Hua
你是说：“爱一个人会改变你吗？”
PINYIN Nǐ shì shuō: “Ài yí ge rén huì gǎibiàn nǐ ma?”
EN You mean: “Will loving someone change you?”
阿青 A Qing
对。我的答案是：会。
PINYIN Duì. Wǒ de dá’àn shì: huì.
EN Right. My answer is: yes.
小花 Xiao Hua
我的答案也是：会。可是怎么改变，很重要。
PINYIN Wǒ de dá’àn yě shì: huì. Kěshì zěnme gǎibiàn, hěn zhòngyào.
EN My answer is also: yes. But how you change is very important.
小花 Xiao Hua
是的。你可以变得更好，但是不要变得越来越不像自己。
PINYIN Duì. Nǐ kěyǐ biàn de gèng hǎo, dànshì bú yào biàn de yuèláiyuè bú xiàng zìjǐ.
EN Right. You can become better, but don’t become less and less like yourself.
阿青 A Qing
小花 Xiao Hua
PINYIN Kěshì bù hǎo de gǎibiàn, huì ràng nǐ yuèláiyuè lèi. Yuèláiyuè hàipà. Yě yuèláiyuè bù gǎn shuō zìjǐ de xiǎngfǎ.
EN But a bad change makes you more and more tired. More and more afraid. And less and less willing to say your own thoughts.
小花 Xiao Hua
阿青 A Qing
对。这个问题很重要。
PINYIN Duì. Zhège wèntí hěn zhòngyào.
EN Right. This question is very important.
阿青 A Qing
因为如果改变是从害怕开始的，人会很辛苦。
PINYIN Yīnwèi rúguǒ gǎibiàn shì cóng hàipà kāishǐ de, rén huì hěn xīnkǔ.
EN Because if change starts from fear, people will suffer.
小花 Xiao Hua
但是如果改变是从爱自己开始的，就不一样。
PINYIN Dànshì rúguǒ gǎibiàn shì cóng ài zìjǐ kāishǐ de, jiù bù yíyàng.
EN But if change starts from loving yourself, then it is different.
阿青 A Qing
爱自己，才会知道什么对自己好。
PINYIN Ài zìjǐ, cái huì zhīdào shénme duì zìjǐ hǎo.
EN When you love yourself, you know what is good for you.
小花 Xiao Hua
也才会知道，什么样的爱是舒服的，什么样的爱会让人受伤。
PINYIN Yě cái huì zhīdào, shénme yàng de ài shì shūfu de, shénme yàng de ài huì ràng rén shòushāng.
EN And only then can you know what kind of love feels comfortable and what kind of love hurts people.
阿青 A Qing
我觉得，只有好好爱自己，才可以更好地爱别人。
PINYIN Wǒ juéde, zhǐyǒu hǎohǎo ài zìjǐ, cái kěyǐ gèng hǎo de ài biérén.
EN I think only when you love yourself well can you love others better.
小花 Xiao Hua
对。因为爱别人，不是把自己全部拿走。
PINYIN Duì. Yīnwèi ài biérén, bú shì bǎ zìjǐ quánbù ná zǒu.
EN Right. Because loving others is not taking all of yourself away.
阿青 A Qing
而是带着一个完整的自己，去靠近另一个人。
PINYIN Ér shì dài zhe yí ge wánzhěng de zìjǐ, qù kàojìn lìng yí ge rén.
EN It is bringing a complete self to get close to another person.
阿青 A Qing
希望你选择的改变，是让你更喜欢自己。
PINYIN Xīwàng nǐ xuǎnzé de gǎibiàn, shì ràng nǐ gèng xǐhuān zìjǐ.
EN I hope the change you choose makes you like yourself more.
阿青 A Qing
那今天也想问问大家。
PINYIN Nà jīntiān yě xiǎng wèn wen dàjiā.
EN Today, we also want to ask everyone.
小花 Xiao Hua
你为了别人改变过吗？
PINYIN Nǐ wèile biérén gǎibiàn guò ma?
EN Have you ever changed for someone else?
阿青 A Qing
这个改变，是你自己选择的吗？
PINYIN Zhège gǎibiàn, shì nǐ zìjǐ xuǎnzé de ma?
EN Was this change chosen by you?
小花 Xiao Hua
它有没有让你更喜欢自己？
PINYIN Tā yǒu méiyǒu ràng nǐ gèng xǐhuān zìjǐ?
EN Did it make you like yourself more?
阿青 A Qing
欢迎在留言区告诉我们。
PINYIN Huānyíng zài liúyán qū gàosu wǒmen.
EN Feel free to tell us in the comment section.
小花 Xiao Hua
也可以试着用中文写一句简单的话。
PINYIN Yě kěyǐ shì zhe yòng Zhōngwén xiě yí jù jiǎndān de huà.
EN You can also try writing one simple sentence in Chinese.
阿青 A Qing
比如：“我想成为更好的自己。”
PINYIN Bǐrú: “Wǒ xiǎng chéngwéi gèng hǎo de zìjǐ.”
EN For example: “I want to become a better version of myself.”
小花 Xiao Hua
或者：“我要好好爱自己。”
PINYIN Huòzhě: “Wǒ yào hǎohǎo ài zìjǐ.”
EN Or: “I want to love myself well.”
阿青 A Qing
好，那今天的《宝宝中文》BaoBao Mandarin 就到这里。
PINYIN Hǎo, nà jīntiān de “Bǎobǎo Zhōngwén” BaoBao Mandarin jiù dào zhèlǐ.
EN Okay, that’s all for today’s BaoBao Mandarin.
小花 Xiao Hua
谢谢大家听我们聊天。
PINYIN Xièxie dàjiā tīng wǒmen liáotiān.
EN [English translation not provided in the source script.]
阿青 A Qing
我是阿青。
PINYIN Wǒ shì Āqīng.
EN I’m A Qing.
小花 Xiao Hua
我是小花。
PINYIN Wǒ shì Xiǎohuā.
EN I’m XiaoHua.
阿青 A Qing
我们下次见。
PINYIN Wǒmen xià cì jiàn.
EN See you next time.
小花 Xiao Hua
下次见，拜拜！
PINYIN Xià cì jiàn, báibái!
EN See you next time, bye-bye!
✍️ 词汇 & 语法 / Vocabulary & Grammar
核心词汇 / Core Vocabulary
常用句型 / Useful Patterns
谢谢你和宝宝中文一起学习！
Thank you for learning with BaoBao Mandarin!
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